Lyrics:

A little place where your miseries forgotten, is there a place where your worries running high? This old lie will cut you like a knife, trouble comes from every side. Is there a place where your sins are all forgiven? Is there a place where your suffering subsides? On this earth, follows you from birth. Trouble comes from every side/ Hey, and I been down, down, down 'til i been crawling on the ground, been down, down, down too many times, and everytime I try to stand I fall right back down again. Trouble comes from every side/ We all wanna see the man behind the curtain, we all wanna know whats beyond the other side, but i suppose that everybody knows, trouble comes from every side/ i been down, down, down 'til im crawling on the ground, I been down, down, down too many times, everytime I try to stand I fall right back down again, trouble comes from every side (3 times)

Lyrics:

Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, all I wanna do is sing. (yadda yadda zing) When you make that sweet little noise, all the other boys want to be me. That's 'cause honey you got a way with music, and you know how to use it. Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo all I wanna do is sing (all I wanna do is sing) Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, I fall in love with you in a wink (in a wink) Oh when you hum those sweet melodies, I tremble at the knees, I need a drink. That's 'cause honey you can do what no other girl can do, with just your lips, a little teeth, and a kazoo. Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, I fall in love with you (I fall in love with you) Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, all I wanna do is sing (yadd yadda zing) When you make that sweet little noise, all the other boys want to be me. That's 'cause honey you got a way with music, and you know how to use it (Oh you know how to use it) When your lips are playing my kazoo, I fall in love with.

Lyrics:

Oh William Howard Taft, had a great big smile and a great big laugh, a great big belly, and great big thighs that slapped together when he walked by, no he can't squeeze nothing past William Howard Taft, oh William Howard Taft, got himself stuck in a bath, secret servant and the police

Lyrics:

I sing for your song of prohibition and offer some advice I hope you use (I hope you use) This world offers all kinds of stimulation, even if the government takes away your booze. Congress turned off the liquor spout, but you and me are still getting out because they can't prohibit love. Oh my gin cup's as dry as they get, but you and me are still getting wet because they can't prohibit love. Oh my best barman took the keys to his tavern and turned them over, but let me tell you honey, I don't feel any soberer because every time we kiss and hug, baby, I'm as good as drunk because they can't prohibit love. Oh I got the tremors but they don't hurt because you got the medicine beneath your skirt, honey, they can't prohibit love. So tell them insanities, "do your worst". You and me ain't buying a thirst because they can't prohibit love. Oh that firewater and moonshine dug a hole right through my liver, but your loving makes every single one of my organs quiver. Every time we kiss and hug, baby, I'm as good as drunk because they can't prohibit love. Yes every time we kiss and hug, baby, I'm as good as drunk because they can't prohibit love. Oh they can't prohibit love, they can't prohibit love (repeated) (scatting) They can't prohibit love, they can't prohibit love (repeated)

Lyrics:

I was thinking about Abraham Lincoln and how he made our Union right. I started drinking, dipped my head in the sink and cried out, "Baby, why aren't you here tonight?" I ain't satisfied if you got secession on your mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, it's running between us. I was wondering about the 1800s, when they tried to tear our country apart. Like I'm a hunkering down in for a somethering. Honey, you're shooting cannon balls in my heart. I ain't satisfied if you've got secession on your mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, running between us. I was dreaming about Robert E. Lee and how all the ladies thought he was brave. But ain't that something, even he stopped fighting, and maybe, baby, we'll stop fighting one day. I ain't satisfied if you got secession on your mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, running between us. Oh baby, I ain't satisfied if you got secession on the mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, running between us.

Lyrics:

My love for you is like the square root of two. That's a nerdy way to flirt, oh buddy it's true. Because if you write that number straight out to the umpteenth decimal place, you notice that it don't repeat and it never terminates. My affection's never ending, every day is new. My love is like the square root of two, written as a decimal, my love is like the square root of two. My love for you is like the square root of two. That's a dorky way to court, oh buddy it's true. My fondness isn't fractional, in fact, it's irrational, that is if we're speaking terms strictly mathemagical. Oh, fetch me a blackbow, I'll sketch you the proof, that my love is like the square root of two, written as a decimal, my love is like the square root of two. Oh, baby, I know you're not much for numbers, but maybe you can make an exception and we can be lovers. My affection's never ending, every day is new. That's how my love is like the square root of two. Oh, fetch me a blackbow, I'll sketch you the proof, that my love is like the square root of- My affection's never ending, every day is new, that's how my love is like the square root of two, written as a decimal, my love is like the square root of two. Oh, baby now, my love is like the square root of two.

Lyrics:

When I got to my baby's door, I saw something that I've never seen before, there was a whole line of fellas at her gate. When it comes to my baby's love in Lord I've always been the incumbent oh, but now she's got some brand new candidates. Well I don't know what them other fellas do, but I'm gonna shove as many votes as I can inside of you. I'm gonna stuff your ballot box, stuff your ballot box, I'm gonna box your ballot box with my vote. Gonna make multiple selections, Lord I'm gonna rig your love election, I'm gonna stuff your ballot box with my vote. Well I know it ain't democracy to pull the election day and your canery and some people even call it a sin. But if I learned anything from history, it's what you do in old americee when you ain't so sure you're gonna win. So while them other fellas go on out of time, I'm gonna shove my votes inside of you in multiples of nine. I'm gonna stuff your ballot box, stuff your ballot box, I'm gonna box your ballot box with my vote. Gonna make multiple selections, Lord I'm gonna rig your love election, I'm gonna stuff your ballot box with my vote. Oh honey, you know I ain't gonna lose. I'm gonna stuff your ballot box til votes are pouring out of you. I'm gonna stuff your ballot box, stuff your ballot box, I'm gonna box your ballot box with my vote. Gonna make multiple selections, Lord I'm gonna rig your love election, I'm gonna stuff your ballot box with my vote. I'm gonna stuff your ballot box, stuff your ballot box, I'm gonna box your ballot box with my vote. Gonna make multiple selections, Lord I'm gonna rig your love election, I'm gonna stuff your ballot box with my vote.

Lyrics:

Baby it's gonna be alright, I called a preacher and he's waiting outside. So put your boney hand in mine, and darling try to keep yourself from crying. Girl, you know this wasn't my intention, I never learned about no birth prevention. It'll be alright, when I'm a husband and you're a wife. Oh baby it's gonna be okay, you know my mama had three babies at your age. So wipe your tears away from your face, and darling try to crack a smile for your wedding day. Is it such an abomination? We just done mistimed your ovulation. It'll be alright, when I'm a husband and you're a wife. Oh, baby come here, give me a kiss and try to forget about the loving I would miss. And I know your daddy is gonna be pissed, but it's not like you were fooling with your brother or your sister. Then talk before the congregation, the good Lord loves a little fertilization, alright. It'll be alright when I'm a husband and you're a wife.

Lyrics:

The boys are blue, and ladies hiss every time I give my girl a kiss. 'Cuz they all know, when we go by that my baby's off my market and so am I. My girl is high class, she dresses nice. But she gives me her loving at a discount price. Though she has offers from foreign wire, my baby's off the market and so am I. But according to the laws of supply and demand, this baby oughtta be walkin' with a wealthy man. But you can go down to the graveyard and tell Adam Smith (who's that?) that his laws of economics don't talk when they kiss. The boys are blue, I'll tell you why. It's 'cuz my baby's off the market and so am I. I met a fella, he tried his luck. Said he'd buy my baby, four million bucks. I told him no, sir. He began to cry, say my baby's off the market and so am I. The boys are blue (boys are blue), and ladies hiss (ladies hiss) every time (every time) I give my girl a kiss (girl a kiss). 'Cuz they all know (they all know), when we go by (we go by) that my baby's off my market and so am I. The boys are blue, and ladies hiss every time I give my girl a kiss. 'Cuz they all know, when we go by that my baby's off my market, my baby's off the market, my baby's off the market and so am...

Lyrics:

I've been drinking, for an hour and a day. And I feel like I should have died. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, and more than once I think I cried. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, and I can't see so well now. I've been drinking for an hour and day, oh another one will cure it somehow. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, and I just can't seem to understand. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, oh how the glass reappears full in my band. (Let's have a drink) Ok. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, but it feels like weeks have passed. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, oh another one (oh yes please) glad you asked. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, and I feel pretty damn good. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, oh suckin' em down like a young man should. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, ain't nothin' gonna stop me now. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, nothing gonna stop me now. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, and I still feel like I shoulda died. I've been drinking for an hour and a day, and I can't, oh I can't, no I can't, and I can't, and I can't remember why.

Lyrics:

(scatting) My girl, she's ill tempered and collicky. But I didn't win her through tenderness or frolicking. Some girls dream of moonlit dinners and weddings by the shore. I give my girl one thing, and nothing more. And that's heavy petting, heavy petting. Oh, when I'm near that's what all the girls are getting. Oh, a tender little rub never made anybody fall in love, but with heavy petting, she'll be wetting her lips for a kiss with you. My girl's got skin as tough as leather, but it softens each night when we're together. Oh, it takes more than some gentle kissing and a soft caress. I've a secret strategy, I'll never confess. Okay, it's heavy petting, yes, heavy petting. When I'm near, that's what all the girls are getting. Oh, a tender little rub never made anybody fall in love, but with heavy petting, she'll be wetting her lips for a kiss with you. Heavy petting (heavy petting), heavy petting (heavy petting). When I'm near, that's what all you girls are getting. Oh a tender little rub never made anybody fall in love. But with heavy petting she'll be wetting her lips for a kiss with you.

Lyrics:

Outside the sun is shinging, everywhere I look there's fishes flying. Out of muddy water and into skies of blue. I'd like to catch me a fish or two. Oh, when I see them suckers jumping, my little heart just starts a thumping. It pumps an evil yearning straight through my inside. It runs from my gut down to my thighs. That's why I'm fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), oh fishing, I'm fishing, fishing for you. All day long I've been casting, reeling, trying to throw away that lonesome feeling. I'm going to the store to get me a fishing net. But I ain't had no use for one yet. If the Lord all mighty will it, there'll one day be a fish fryin' in my skillet. I'm trying evey river from the North Pole to the South. Lord all my hook needs is one mouth. That's why I'm fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), oh fishing, I'm fishing, fishing for you. I'm fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), oh fishing, I'm fishing, fishing for you. That's right I'm fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), fishing (fishing), oh fishing, I'm fishing, fishing for you.

Lyrics:

Ah, ah, ah (repeated) When I'm lonely, I drink a fancy beer (fancy beer). When I want you, only, I drink a fancy beer (fancy beer). And when the weather's stormy, and daybreak is far, I throw an extra dollar fifty on the bar. There's no sense in saving pennies, if you don't know where you are, oh, I drink a fancy beer (fancy beer). (scatting) Oh when I'm randy (when I'm randy), I drink a fancy beer (fancy beer). When I long for a piece of your candy, but I can't get it, I drink a fancy beer (fancy beer). When there's no one there to hold me for the whole of the night, I put in an order for a seven dollar pint. Though I ain't make of money, class are getting tired, I drink a fancy beer (fancy beer). (dialogue) Oh when I'm lonely, I drink a fancy beer. When I want you, only, I drink a fancy beer. And when the weather's stormy, and daybreak is far, I throw an extra dollar fifty on the bar. There's no sense in saving pennies, if you don't know where you are, oh, I drink a fancy beer, and I drink it quickly, I drink a fancy beer.

Lyrics:

On the streets of old New York I never felt this way, before we met I won't forget, you were everything for me/ I have been through lots of towns/ And good times, I have always found but oh when I'm far from you, the city of New York, she calls me heaveman/ All my days, all my days, all my days without you have been nothing but lonely/ In every stranger hides a friend/ "Hello sir, may we meet again?"/ My friend, my new friend in the city of New York/ Ladies in their Sunday dress to me will always be second best/ I can't take my eyes off you the city oh my city of New York/ All my days, all my days, all my days without you have been nothing but lonely I say/ When I'm gone and can't come back please bury me beneath the tracks/ Where I won't be too lonely listening to the dream/ We've had a time yes you and I can't bear to part and say goodbye for now/ But not for long/ New York, I'll return to your arms/ All my days, all my days, all my days without you have been nothing but lonely (2 times)

Lyrics:

People often ask about my necktie and my hat, and why I keep myself so debonair. (Why) They say why is it so that everywhere you go a pack of women-folk awaits you there. I answer them this, have you ever been kissed by a gentleman so impeccably groomed? It's indicative of the way he can love if you choose to invite him to your room. Oh, ladies love a genteman, 'cause a gentleman knows how to love. Oh he's so nice and tender in the evening if you find one, honey, you're in luck. He'll give you tons of evidence while the moon is bright and stars are light above. Oh, ladies love a gentleman, 'cause a genlteman knows how to love. Oh, when your head's on the pillow and you're lying on your bed, do you have visions of gentlemen swimming in your head? Oh, ladies love a gentleman, 'cause a gentleman knows how to love. Oh, ladies love a gentleman, 'cause a genlteman knows how to.. When we get together then, honey, you'll realize what I'm thinking of. I'll undo my suspenders when oh, the moon is bright and the stars are light above. Yes, ladies love a gentleman, 'cause gentleman knows how to love. Oh, when your head's on the pillow and you're lying on your bed, do you have visions of gentlemen swimming in your head? I bet you do because ladies love a gentleman, 'cause a gentleman knows how to love. Oh, ladies love a genteman, 'cause a gentleman knows how to love (repeated)