Lyrics:

Bring it on down to my house honey There ain't nobody home but me Bring it on down to my house honey I need your company Tomcat sittin' on a railroad track Hollerin' at the momma and she answered him back Said bring it on down to my house honey There ain't nobody home but me Two old maids layin' in bed One turned over and the other one said Now, bring it on down to my house honey Ain't nobody home but me The old man said can you play a fiddle He said by now I can play a little Bring it on down to my house honey There ain't nobody home but me Tomcat sittin' on a railroad track Hollerin' at the momma cat, she answered back Said, bring it on down to my house honey Ain't nobody home but me Now my gal Sal makes a pretty good pie I ate so much that I thought I’s gona die Well, bring it on down to my house honey Ain't nobody home but me

Lyrics:

Woke up this morning lookin' for my shoes Looked behind the trunk, felt the hesitation blues Lordy, tell me how long will I have to wait? Can I get to you now? Must I hesitate Well, I'm goin' to the river take a rockin' chair If blues overtake me rock away from here Lordy, tell me how long will I have to wait? Can I get to you now? Must I hesitate Well, I'm goin' up the mountain, peep through a hole Saw your little monkey doin' the sweet jelly roll Lordy, tell me how long will I have to wait? Can I get to you now? Must I hesitate Well, I'm goin' to the river, gonna sit right down If the blues overtake me I'll jump in and drown Lordy, tell me how long will I have to wait? Can I get to you now? Must I hesitate

Lyrics:

You make me swoon, when you cross the room, my lips quiver, and I drool on you, you make me swoon, when you cross the room, my heart faints for you, it's true, oh fainting is dainty, as any boy can tell, but if falling in love is sissy, then call me a daffodil, you make me swoon, when you cross the room, my heart faints for you, You make me swoon, when you cross the room, my lips quiver, and I drool on you, you make me swoon, when you cross the room, my heart faints for you, you make me swoon

Lyrics:

Wine, oh wine, honey I think I spilled too much, last night, Wine, oh wine, honey I think I spilled too much, last night, and I told you that I loved you, but that was just a lie, oh I just like to tell a girl "i love you" when I drink too much wine, and I told you, as I held you, "be careful with me baby, it's my first time", oh I just like to make a girl feel special, when I drink too much wine, oh a glass in my lunchbox, a glass after work, a glass at my dinner, a glass at dessert, a glass at the ballroom, a glass on the way, a glass in a taxi cab, and a glass back at your place, Wine, oh wine, honey I think i spilled too much last night, oh a glass in my lunchbox, a glass after work, a glass at my dinner, a glass at dessert, a glass at the ballroom, a glass on the way, a glass in a taxi cab, and a glass back at your place, Wine, oh wine, honey I think i spilled too much last night, Wine, oh wine, honey I think i spilled too much last night, and I asked you to marry me, oh sorry honey but I already got a wife, and I just like to tell a girl "I love you", oh I just like to make a girl feel special, Oh I just like to ask a girl to marry me, when I drink too much wine

Lyrics:

Oh William Howard Taft, had a great big smile and a great big laugh, a great big belly, and great big thighs that slapped together when he walked by, no he can't squeeze nothing past William Howard Taft, oh William Howard Taft, got himself stuck in a bath, secret servant and the police

Lyrics:

Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, all I wanna do is sing. (yadda yadda zing) When you make that sweet little noise, all the other boys want to be me. That's 'cause honey you got a way with music, and you know how to use it. Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo all I wanna do is sing (all I wanna do is sing) Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, I fall in love with you in a wink (in a wink) Oh when you hum those sweet melodies, I tremble at the knees, I need a drink. That's 'cause honey you can do what no other girl can do, with just your lips, a little teeth, and a kazoo. Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, I fall in love with you (I fall in love with you) Oh when your lips are playing my kazoo, all I wanna do is sing (yadd yadda zing) When you make that sweet little noise, all the other boys want to be me. That's 'cause honey you got a way with music, and you know how to use it (Oh you know how to use it) When your lips are playing my kazoo, I fall in love with.

Lyrics:

My love and I were the toast of the town, the pair everybody knew. We'd roll around the city on a bicycle built for two. But one evening we had a quarrel, and filled with spite, my love, she took a hacksaw to our lovely tender bike. Left me with the unicycle blues, if you only knew my sad situation, I fall down after one rotation. Day after day I tumble on the pavement trying to lose my unicycle blues. I've got the unicycle blues, I played a fool for everyone that passes I fall down and I break my glasses. All in the distance, you're perfectly balanced, but I can't lose my unicycle blues. Oh it was colder than an icicle, than an Eskimo with no igloo (that's pretty cold) You took my heart and my bicycle and told them bold in two. Left me with the unicycle blues, honey I can't lose my unicycle blues. I've got the unicycle blues, if you only knew my sad situation, I fall down after one rotation. Day after day I tumble on the pavement trying to lose my unicycle, trying to lose my unicycle, trying to lose my unicycle.

Lyrics:

I sing for your song of prohibition and offer some advice I hope you use (I hope you use) This world offers all kinds of stimulation, even if the government takes away your booze. Congress turned off the liquor spout, but you and me are still getting out because they can't prohibit love. Oh my gin cup's as dry as they get, but you and me are still getting wet because they can't prohibit love. Oh my best barman took the keys to his tavern and turned them over, but let me tell you honey, I don't feel any soberer because every time we kiss and hug, baby, I'm as good as drunk because they can't prohibit love. Oh I got the tremors but they don't hurt because you got the medicine beneath your skirt, honey, they can't prohibit love. So tell them insanities, "do your worst". You and me ain't buying a thirst because they can't prohibit love. Oh that firewater and moonshine dug a hole right through my liver, but your loving makes every single one of my organs quiver. Every time we kiss and hug, baby, I'm as good as drunk because they can't prohibit love. Yes every time we kiss and hug, baby, I'm as good as drunk because they can't prohibit love. Oh they can't prohibit love, they can't prohibit love (repeated) (scatting) They can't prohibit love, they can't prohibit love (repeated)

Lyrics:

There's something in my trousers (What's that you say?) There's something in my trousers (How does it feel?) Oh, it's warm. There's a churning inside (Help me narrow it down) And I'm feeling kind of dirty (Now get out of town) And now lady is gone. So you're talking to a lady? (Guilty as charged) Things were getting kind of heavy? Gotta try hard to hold it all in and now lady is gone. Don't say another word, I know. Don't say another, I know. I've spoke too much already (no you've been quite vague) And it's causing all the sweating (Why don't you try it again?) I can't because there's something in my trousers (repeat)

Lyrics:

Keep your bodice laced up, lovely dear. We know not to raise suspicion while my wife is here. Oh honey, there'll be a time for loving. Oh, keep your painted fingers off my suit. We know not to drown each other in disrepute. Oh honey, there'll be a time for loving. Oh, I know that your heart is pumping blood to your special something. Honey, my blood is pumping too. I know that your mind is running, girl, there'll be time for loving soon. Honey, soon. But for now, keep your arms and elbows to yourself, I'm known as a gentleman of utmost moral health. Oh honey, there'll be a time for loving. Oh, Keep your bodice laced up, lovely dear. We know not to raise suspicion while my wife is here. Oh honey, there'll be a time for loving, oh, there'll be a time for loving.

Lyrics:

I was thinking about Abraham Lincoln and how he made our Union right. I started drinking, dipped my head in the sink and cried out, "Baby, why aren't you here tonight?" I ain't satisfied if you got secession on your mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, it's running between us. I was wondering about the 1800s, when they tried to tear our country apart. Like I'm a hunkering down in for a somethering. Honey, you're shooting cannon balls in my heart. I ain't satisfied if you've got secession on your mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, running between us. I was dreaming about Robert E. Lee and how all the ladies thought he was brave. But ain't that something, even he stopped fighting, and maybe, baby, we'll stop fighting one day. I ain't satisfied if you got secession on your mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, running between us. Oh baby, I ain't satisfied if you got secession on the mind. Like the Mason Dixon line, running between us.

Lyrics:

My love for you is like the square root of two. That's a nerdy way to flirt, oh buddy it's true. Because if you write that number straight out to the umpteenth decimal place, you notice that it don't repeat and it never terminates. My affection's never ending, every day is new. My love is like the square root of two, written as a decimal, my love is like the square root of two. My love for you is like the square root of two. That's a dorky way to court, oh buddy it's true. My fondness isn't fractional, in fact, it's irrational, that is if we're speaking terms strictly mathemagical. Oh, fetch me a blackbow, I'll sketch you the proof, that my love is like the square root of two, written as a decimal, my love is like the square root of two. Oh, baby, I know you're not much for numbers, but maybe you can make an exception and we can be lovers. My affection's never ending, every day is new. That's how my love is like the square root of two. Oh, fetch me a blackbow, I'll sketch you the proof, that my love is like the square root of- My affection's never ending, every day is new, that's how my love is like the square root of two, written as a decimal, my love is like the square root of two. Oh, baby now, my love is like the square root of two.

Lyrics:

When your kitty cat or your puppy dies, you dig a hole and bury him. When your pet fish goes belly up, you scoop him out and clean the aquarium. When your horse gets sick, oh you shoot him right there in the stable. But when your little pet bunny rabbit goes, you hold a funeral on the dinner table. Oh rabbit feet, rabbit feet. Ain't nothing taste better than a little bunny meat. Oh bunny meat, yeah bunny meat. Ain't nothing taste better than a little rabbit feet. I got furry in my teeth. I got furry in my teeth, I got fur in my teeth from eating too much bunny meat. Oh bunny meat, oh bunny meat. Ain't nothing taste better than a little rabbit feet. Oh I don't use beef or chicken when I'm making stew, 'cause red meat's got the e-coli and chicken's got the avian flu. But when I want something tender for to make my stomach holler, I shuffle on down to the pet store and throw down every one of my dollars on the rabbit feet, yeah rabbit feet. Ain't nothing taste better than a little bunny meat, oh bunny meat, yeah bunny meat. Ain't nothing taste better than a little rabbit feet. Oh I got furry in my teeth, I got furry in my teeth, I got fur in my teeth eating too much bunny meat. Oh bunny meat, yeah bunny meat. Ain't nothing taste better than a little rabbit feet.

Lyrics:

Oh I ain't going into work tomorrow, and if anybody asks, I'll be at home with my baby, getting lazy, we're joining the leisure class. I've said bye to all my toils and troubles, trade them in for love and laughs. Home with my baby, getting lazy, we're joining the leisure class. Oh my hands are free of callouses, there's no sweat on my brow. My heart is free of malices, it's all so easy now. I ain't going into work tomorrow, and if anybody asks, I'll be home with my baby, getting lazy, we're joining the leisure class. Oh my hands are free of callouses, there's no sweat on my brow. My heart is free of malices, it's all so easy now. Oh I ain't going into work tomorrow, and if anybody asks, I'll be home with my baby, getting lazy, we're joining the leisure class. Oh, home with my baby, getting lazy, we're joining the leisure class.

Lyrics:

Love gives sight to the sightless, but I must confess, since I've fell for you, darling, it's had the opposite effect. I used to howl at the ladies, I'd say "Come here baby, and bring your sister." But now in my street in Queens there's just one girl for me from Jamaica to the East River. Oh the jewel of 45th Avenue. The award, by default, it goes to you. 'Cause mile after mile, I've strolled the boulevard entire, and I've not noticed another woman walking there, it's true. And they could build a nunnery, a sorority, a women's prison. I'd be blind to the occupants, I've made my decision. The jewel of 45th Avenue, my love, the award belongs to you. Yes, they could build a nunnery, a sorority, a women's prison. I'd be blind to the occupants, I've made my decision. The jewel of 45th Avenue, my love, the award, my love, the award, my love, the award belongs to you.

Lyrics:

Come on, children, have you heard of the greatest ship, the Hindenberg? Carried folks of wealth and fame, but it crashed and burned in a ball of flame. Was on the sign afternoon, folks were drinking tea with a pleasant view. You could hear them talk and laugh beneath a giant ball of explosive gas. The ooh, the wind it beat, a ooh upon that great balloon. The captains lost control, he says we're all doomed on the Hindenberg. Lines were tethered to the ground for to bring that airship down, but something caught and something sparked and the children cried and the dogs barked. Folks below stood and held their breath as their friends above plumeted to their death. The women wept and the men did curse, I've never seen the sun so close to Earth. Ohh the wind it beat, a ooh upon that great balloon. The captains lost control, he says we're all doomed on the Hindenberg. And the people cried from this day forth, we're gonna keep our feet firm upon the Earth. Not into these Hindenbergs, for the lives it cost and the men it burnt. Ooh, the wind it beat, a ooh upon that great balloon. The captains lost control, he says we're all doomed. Ooh, the wind it beat, a ooh upon that great balloon. The captains lost control, he says we're all doomed on the Hindenberg.

Lyrics:

Have you heard about the big strong man? (Yes I have) He lived in a caravan. (What kind?) Have you heard about the different clubs and fights? Oh lord, what a hell of a fight! Well you can take all heavy weights you got (What you got?) We got a live that can beat the whole lot (Whole lot) He used to ring bells in the bell frame now he's gonna fight Jack Dempsey. That's my brother, Stylvest, (What you got?) got a row of forty medals on his chest (Big chest) Built fifty buildings in the west he knows the rest. think of the man, hell's fire, don't push, just shove, plenty of room for you and me. He's got an arm like a leg and a punch that could sink a battle ship. Thanks all the army and the navy for the win, old Stylvest. Well he thought he'd take a trip to Italy (Itlay) He thought he's go by sea (By sea) He dove off the harbor in the ocean and he swam like a man from corps. He saw the Lusitania in distress (distress), he put the Lusitania on his chest (big chest) he drank all the water in the sea and he walked all the way to Italy. That was my brother, Stylvest, (What you got?) got a row of forty medals on his chest (Big chest) Built fifty buildings in the west he knows the rest. think of the man, hell's fire, don't push, just shove, plenty of room for you and me. He's got an arm like a leg and a punch that could sink a battle ship. Thanks all the army and the navy for the win, old Stylvest. Well he thought he'd take a trip to old Japan (Japan) They brought out the big brass band. He played every instrument they got, what a lad, he played the whole lot. Well the old church bells will ring, the old church choir will sing, they all came out to say farewell to my brother, Stylvest. That was my brother, Stylvest. (What you got?) got a row of forty medals on his chest (Big chest) Built fifty buildings in the west he knows the rest. think of the man, hell's fire, don't push, just shove, plenty of room for you and me. He's got an arm like a leg and a punch that could sink a battle ship. Thanks all the army and the navy for the win, old Stylvest.

Lyrics:

Sloppy drunk, sloppy drunk, nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. I know 'cause I'm so sloppy drunk, and nobody likes me (wah) Sloppy drunk, sloppy drunk, nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. I know 'cause I'm so sloppy drunk. I declare that I never do it again because my wife's the deep tolling type and she swears she'll leave me if ever again. I'm sloppy drunk, sloppy drunk, oh nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. Sloppy drunk, sloppy drunk, nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. I know (he knows) 'cause I'm so ('cause he's so) sloppy drunk, and nobody likes him (wah) Sloppy drunk, sloppy drunk, oh nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. Oh I declare that I never do it again because I'm at the doorstep just like she warned me, she changed the lock so I'll have to change the key. Sloppy drunk (sloppy drunk), sloppy drunk (sloppy drunk), nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. I know (he knows) 'cause I'm so ('cause he's so) sloppy drunk, and nobody likes me (wah) Sloppy drunk (sloppy drunk), sloppy drunk (sloppy drunk), nobody likes you when you're sloppy drunk. I know (he knows) 'cause I'm so ('cause he's so) I know (he knows) 'cause I'm so ('cause he's so) I know (he knows) 'cause I'm so ('cause he's so) sloppy drunk.

Lyrics:

I knock on the door, special delivery. Woah woah woah woah, who might this be? It's a man with a man playing music that will cause you to rise up and say, "hey friend, when we make that music, I have no fear, put it in my ear" If a man and a man can play with each other every night and every day, hey friend, let's go make that music, and shed no tears, jam it in my ear. Well if you want to make a tasty music stew, our friend and I will show you what to do. Just add a pluck of a guitar string, a note that sounds very low. Gentle notes could arrest me here and there and here and there and here and there. Do you, do you have a secret, a secret, with no place to keep it? Friend, just set it to a tune and place it right here in my ear. If you want to make a tasty music stew, our friend and I will show you what to do. Just add a pluck of a guitar string, a note that sounds very low. Gentle notes could arrest me here and there and here and there and here and there. I am, I am, I am a man with a man playing music, sweet music, that will cause you to rise up and say, "hey friend, when we make that music, I have no fear, put it in my, put it in my, put it in my ear, my ear, my ear...."

Lyrics:

In bygone days gentlemen all kept their blade and their gun by their hand. They draw their weapons at their first dirty word, but I traded in my pistol for two rackets and a bird. You've done me wrong, mm that's a fact, you called me yellow behind my back. You spoke vulgar language, here's my retort, gonna smack your shallow popgun around that badminton court. Well I don't go for bullets, don't go for boats, don't go for brawling and getting blood on my clothes. Don't go for cussing when I'm settling my score, so I'll offer declaration on the badminton court. You've done me wrong, mm that's a fact, you called me yellow behind my back. You spoke vulgar language, here's my retort, gonna smack your shallow popgun around that badminton court. Say friends, what do you do on the badminton court? (smack the bird) Oh, what do you do on the badminton court? (smack the bird) Let's smack it! So grab your racket, grab your shorts, take the field for some manly sport. When the sun is high and the breeze is cool. I challenge every scoundrel to a badminton duel. You've done me wrong, mm that's a fact, you called me yellow behind my back. You spoke vulgar language, here's my retort, gonna smack your shallow popgun around that badminton court.

Lyrics:

The boys are blue, and ladies hiss every time I give my girl a kiss. 'Cuz they all know, when we go by that my baby's off my market and so am I. My girl is high class, she dresses nice. But she gives me her loving at a discount price. Though she has offers from foreign wire, my baby's off the market and so am I. But according to the laws of supply and demand, this baby oughtta be walkin' with a wealthy man. But you can go down to the graveyard and tell Adam Smith (who's that?) that his laws of economics don't talk when they kiss. The boys are blue, I'll tell you why. It's 'cuz my baby's off the market and so am I. I met a fella, he tried his luck. Said he'd buy my baby, four million bucks. I told him no, sir. He began to cry, say my baby's off the market and so am I. The boys are blue (boys are blue), and ladies hiss (ladies hiss) every time (every time) I give my girl a kiss (girl a kiss). 'Cuz they all know (they all know), when we go by (we go by) that my baby's off my market and so am I. The boys are blue, and ladies hiss every time I give my girl a kiss. 'Cuz they all know, when we go by that my baby's off my market, my baby's off the market, my baby's off the market and so am...

Lyrics:

Some people get high on music, some folks get high on life. Some girls get high by gettin' husbands, some husbands get high when their wife's not lookin'. Some folks get high by bein' down-hearted, they love to moan and weep. Me, I get high on reefer (reefer!) then I fall asleep. And I dream about an island in the Carribean (holding hands) holding hands (with you) with you beside the sea (beside the sea). And I wonder who do you dream about when you put that reefer in your mouth? In my dream you dream, dream of me. Hey friend, do you like music? (No.) Friend, how do you feel about life? (Bad.) Friend, do you ever think about settling down? (No.) Getting yourself a nice wife? (No!) Friend do you ever feel downhearted, you love to moan and weep? Now friend, do you like reefer? (Yessir!) Let's get high together then we'll fall asleep. We'll dreaaaaaaaaam. Oooh. I wodner who do you dream about when you put that reefer in your mouth? In my dream you dream, dream. I wonder who do you dream about when you put that reefer in your mouth? In my dream you dream, dream.

Lyrics:

Oh man, oh man, when I get you into my minivan. I don't go for a fast moveing vehichle. I take my time on the highway and when I'm getting physical. Man, oh man, when I get you into my minivan. Oh a fancy engine built for speed, that's not what a young girl needs. I've got plenty of room for reclining and I swear til' you get there I wont' stop driving. I take my time, I'm a patient man when I get you into my minivan. Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, when I get you into my minivan. Oh baby, I got air conditioning and fuzzy seats and those tented windows, baby, so we can be discreet. Oh man, oh man, when I get you into my minivan (into my minivan). Oh Camaras and convertibles and cars that go fastest, those are for guys in muscles shirts and moustaches. Baby you know I dress up like a gentlemt should, i don't need a fancy vehichle, baby, to make me look good. I take my time, I'm a patient man, when I get you into my minivan.

Lyrics:

Who likes to party? I like to party. How you like to party? I party like this! I like to party with girls, and girls like to party with me. Doodley da dee da da. I like to party with girls, and girls like to party with me. So if you're having a party and you want it to be bouncin', pencil two names on your guest list: Andy Bean and The Councilman. I like to party with girls, and girls like to party with. I like to party with, I like to party with girls. And girls like to party with, girls like to party with me. Doodley da dee da da. I like to party with, I like to party with girls. And girls like to party with, girls like to party with me. So if you're havin' a good time, but your boyfriend is acting mean, open your window, call for rescue, "Hey, Councilman! Hey, Andy Bean!" I like to party with girls, and girls like to party with me. Girls like to party with me! Girls like to party with me! Doodley da dee da da.

Lyrics:

Around the floor the girls are spinning as never before. Off to the side, oh I, sipping my drink like a boy. I tap my toes and they know that I can move in time. But when she asked me for a dance, I gently declined. I already have a dance partner, already have a dance partner. She waits for me, I waltz with no one else. I already have a dance partner, already have a dance partner. And in my heart, I'm dancing with her now. I've tried, I've tried to give other ladies a whirl. But it don't take long, no it don't take long, 'till I start thinking of her. Oh, dancing is just dancing. Oh and dancing's just for fun. But whats the fun in dancing if it's not with the one I love. Oh I already have a dance partner, already have a dance partner. She waits for me, I waltz with no one else. I already have a dance partner, already have a dance partner. And in my heart, I'm dancing with her now. Oh, I already have a dance partner, already have a dance partner. And in my heart I'm dancing with her now.